Pleased No One

Is kinda impossible for me to show up this early listening to the birds singing right now at this moment, rarely happen in my life as I am so a bed-person, sleeping is never an issue to me, insomnia rarely reported themself in mylife, but today I am awake sitting here to blog, now you must be smelling something. 

YES, I am super pissed off  now. 

After plenty of drama, real-life drama, I realized promises are fragile, breakable and yet not trust-able enough,  in friendship and yet in love.

No one will know how much I suffer and gone through the previous relationship, cuz I seldom expose to the entire world bout my shit thing! Is not about begging for pityness. What I mean here is seldom, not NEVER. I understand how friends support can help someone in building stronger confidence in facing the break-off but in the end, after all sorts of impressive stories, you will still have to deal with your own shits alone, ALL BY YOURSELF. Do you gonna think the whole world cares? What friends can do is really limited, when it come to an end in relationship, all you have to do is get up of the shit and keep walking. I know how tough to do it in compare to the words I wrote here. Is tough, and this is how I feel it too. Things eventually happen when I'm struggling for my studies, have to tune back myself in the correct position and keep going is never easy. How do you judge me that Im not upset although when I keep posting photos on social media? By the smile hanging on my face or by the stupid comments I replied?

This is not Right, how much pain I suffered. I know it all by myself, again I mentioned, by MYSELF. After all, those people out there, welcome to judge me, I'm so tired to pleased everyone out there, so tired. Relationship is about two, no one gonna be more conscious and clear besides the two parties that involve. Arggg, I am so sick to listen of those people that dont know bits and pieces of story but judging like a professional. 

Lastly, I wanted to let you know how much I hold back for you previously, I would not claim that I did so much for this to end peacefully, but at least I did something, I'm not telling people how sick I am handling with my own relationship, and in fact, those memories between us both, I keep it. I'm sorry for posting such a post, but this time you really freak me out, seriously you did.